May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
