I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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