Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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