matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
