Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
