Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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