im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
