one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
