I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
