Whod you bang
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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