So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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