theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize