If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
