My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
only you would photoshop your dick
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
