I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
this hospital has no fireball
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
