I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
