Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
