Say something about gay babies.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I am available for nakedness
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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