? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize