Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
