To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
