dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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