Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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