I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
