summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize