am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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