he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish you could order shots online.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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