I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
