you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
