I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
