i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
