Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
and i looked up. we had an audience...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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