need another drink. this is the easiest way
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
