My first STD was from a foam party
Me too!
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I need a burrito and a hug.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
i think i just lost a toe
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
