I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
