Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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