spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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