Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
