I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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