There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
