so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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