we have pet lesbian snakes
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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