Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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