Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
