After last night, I could never be a politician.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
