i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
