Having a random hookup so left but love u
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
