yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize