Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
