hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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