How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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