U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
false alarm. still invincible.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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