it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
