not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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