i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
