he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
