Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
