VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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