woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Couch. On fire.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
