I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
