I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Damn victory sex feels great
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
