So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
